I am me. I Am Me. I AM ME....

I have been through significant changes in the last several months. I have lost 42lbs since Febuary, and I recently quit my job and started at a new salon. It's a lot all at once however it has made me more me again.

I think we all want to change our lives from time to time' some can and some can not. My husband has a wonderful job with great benefits, pension plan and about 4-6weeks paid vacation per year. Does he like his job, sure he does or he would be a bad worker. Does he love his job? The answer to this is no, it's not his dream job, but it provides for our family so he stays he does give his best, he steps up to positions no one else wants and even more he keeps the balance at work for those who like their job and those who hate it. A wonderful man' my husband.

Myself, I was born in the 70's and I think the word "freedom" must have been secretly tattooed on me somewhere. I love the freedom to make decisions, the freedom of creativity, the freedom to change. I love doing hair, I felt my freedom was compromised for one or another reason and so up and switched salons. I now have the freedom to go to my kids games, to drive them to school, I have the freedom to balance my job and home life. I am also a crafter. At any given moment you come to my house and say what are you working on now and my response will be " which one". In February I actually stopped crafting. Why I don't know a slump' a mix of my suppressed freedom, the answer I still don't know. What I do know is I picked up my crotcheted hook and yarn 2 nights ago, and I have cranked out 2 crazy kid snake scarfs and 2 adorable kids winter chin strap hats. I picked up my spinning dowel and angora wool and started spinning, and I've been drawing like a mad women. My freedom has been restored. My husband is such a fantastic guy, he encouraged the change and this change has returned my to my roots. The meals I'm cooking has flavor again and the creations are just beginning to flow out of me. Yes I have to say I love my freedom. Could it be the increase in my own income as well? It's possible, it's truly amazing how in these past 3 weeks my income has sky rocketed? Is it the new job, is it my skills returning, is it my suppression is over, is it I was blinded by past positions? This I don't know but I feel alive. Alive with soul.....and my soul is dancing to a rythmatic beat of jazz, indie, base, and a bit of rock.... Could all of this be because I've lost weight? 42lbs of nothing but weight, nothing but laziness, nothing but extra baggage...with this baggage being gone is this what is making my freedom be realized again? I love how I feel, I can't wait to lose more.

Tomorrow I run my first ever 5K. This is just a stepping stone. I joked earlier this week about eating carbs before a race, does cookies count. The fact that I'm even joking about it makes me know I am alive with momentum. I am alive with emotion, I am alive. This will be the first of several races. I will have my amazing daughter by my side and this is AWESOME. If I don't not run the whole thing I am ok with this, I am going to try harder than I have ever tried before. This 5k is for "Gotta Kiss Cancer Goodbye" I run for so many others that can't, for so many others who have crossed over, I run for so many people that are in a living hell, I run for Myself. The fact is I RUN. after the race I will watch my sons baseball game. He is awesome, he said he'd run in the morning with me, I told him his spirit will be with me but I want him to save his energy for his game. I want him to hit a home run tomorrow. This home run will be everyone that has survived cancer' everyone who has crossed because of it, everyone that is effected by it.. He said he'll try, in return I said "Buddy if you don't hit a home run its ok, as long as you give it your best everyone will know, I may not run the whole 3.2miles but I will do my best and that's what I ask". My husband will be at the finish line, and at the game with me. Tomorrow is going to be GREAT.

Today I am me. I Am Me. I AM ME. I will be working in the salon making others feel like themselves, or perhaps they will get a little of me with in themselves before leaving. Today is a GREAT DAY. Tomorrow will be a challenge, I am taking this challenge head on... I have regained my freedom....

LIVE, LIFE, LOUD