15 years later I have finally seen his vision, it's beautiful....

There comes a time in everyone's life that you look back at time and wonder where it went. Today I went to school with my 14year old daughter (graduating #2 from her freshman class) and set up her sophomore schedule. Before setting up her schedule I went to the elementary wing and handed in the rest of the paper work for our youngest daughter to begin her schooling journey. As I walked into the office to set up the schedule, my 4year old held tight to my hand and I started to reflect back.

I remember 9/11... My husband had finished his 4year contract with the US Army in April of that year. My now, 14 year old,was only 4 then, had just finished her chocolate milk and I was getting ready to drive her to school. I flipped on the morning news, to see if I needed a sweater or jacket for her, and there was one Tower burning, smoke, gray, glass, catastrophe! Zora was in pre-k. I kept her home thinking my husband would be called into duty. My close friend Jen was due to be married in 4weeks. Her husband got called up, their wedding was postponed! Now today I walk into this school watching my oldest continue her success as a student, and I hold tight my youngest hand as she will just begin. my son has had many hurdles, but the school and teachers work with us, DAILY for him to conutiue his journey.

I don't rememberer as much as a mother should. In 2001 I began my career as a business women. I took my job and put it first in my life. I missed many moments, I can not take back. I missed concerts, parties, and in the long run I now have regrets. My life has been filled with love. My husband understood I am differsnt. I am not a person that relaxes, I even work in my dreams. He was there every step of my career. Now holding my youngest hand I realize, I WILL NOT REGRET missing things again. I have made a vow to my oldest daughter. She is a beautiful, smart young women. Teenagers are harsh, they call her nerd, amount other things, on the bus. She has informed me she will protect my youngest next year on the bus. I have vowed that next year she will be first, all of my children will. I will drive them to school, I will take them to their practices, and games. I will be there for awards. I will not let my career get in the way of my career as a mother any longer.

I am looking forward to the time in the future. I love when my husband holds my hand just because, and when I am working at home when he kisses my head as he passes by me. It's these moments that I remember the most, and for this I love him. For this I want more of my childrens moments in my life.

I'll always work, I'll always be a mom, but I will not always have my kids by my side, so while they are here...I need to be here! I am excited about our future, I have enjoyed learning to relax' and learn about farm life, thses last few years. My husband (of 15 years) has been gentle knowing my vision was not the same as his. 15 years later I have finally seen his vision, it's beautiful....