I May Be Broke

On top of life being life, I quit my job on Saturday. I'm so excited about starting in a new Salon, John Davis Salon and Spa. I can be committed to my family first and to my clients. Funny most clients have kids or have had kids and understand needing to take the day off here and there or work around kids schedules. I'm excited for the first time in my career to Be able to do this!

Returning home my husband asked how it went and I just rambled and rambled. Earlier in the week he had told me he may be coaching my sons soccer team, he had mentioned me being the assistant coach. Knowing I would be at the new salon able to control my own hours, not having to work until 9pm would allow me to do this. Saturday night we got the confirmation that indeed my husband will be the soccer coach for the under 12 team, I was so excited.

There are so many tricks and turns in life, we have ups and we have downs. With the emotional Saturday I had I was really looking forward to relaxing on Sunday.

We woke up, and headed out the door to go to the Horse club for a fun show they were putting on. Bam, life being life begins again. My birthday present 3 years ago was Vanessa. She is an all white beautiful angora rabbit. I groomed her and have even tought myself to spin her angora wool. Im not that good at spinning but I sure do enjoy it. A year ago Vanessa got a cut that was so bad my husband said we should put her down. I refused and turned into a vet that night. I nurtured her and spend the evenings making her feel better. She had a full recovery, and Vanessa was hopping with happiness. While on vacation about a month ago we bought a handsome grey angora buck. We haven't tried to breed them yet, but I couldn't wait for this to happen.... Today Vanessa died. As we walked out the door I could see her just laying there. My heart dropped, why she died I do not know but my heart hurt. My kids have had hamsters die, and fish. I hug them and tell them it's going to be ok. My son took Vanessa to bury her. Within minutes we were piled in the car on the way to the club. I never even cried, or showed any emotion. Emotion came, it came in the way of anger, and then tears. My husband, whom I truly love, never once showed me compassion. My anger flared. I know it's only a rabbit, but she was more than that. I learned to love the hobby that became of her. Now it is gone, she is gone. No reason. She is the last birthday present my husband bought for me. She was a symbol. I suppose throughout the day I have misbehaved and acted childlike, but don't I too deserve that hug, that feeling I give my kids when there pets pass. Is adult life filled without this?

I am a self made machine. I don't often wear my emotions on my sleeves, but I feel broke at this moment. Next week will be emotional too. It will be my last week with a group of fantastic girls.

I will begin at John David's Salon. I will meet a new group of co-workers. I will begin helping my husband coach my sons soccer team. Being a stylist is my world but I have brought 3 little lives into this world and they too deserve my attention. The majority of the people I have talked to have thought this is a great decision, the others think I should just stay home....well those others don't know me that well. As I stated, I'm a self made machine, at times I may be broke but with a little tender love and care I'll be back up and running....

LIVE, LIFE, LOUD.....